The King of Pointland

The Year They Didn't Cancel Thanksgiving

I should mention in passing that this year I returned to the traditional Thanksgiving with the family. Read about our brush with fame at my brother's acclaimed — and soon to be dated — blog, Eye of the Storm 2004!

Apparently I had my own brush with somebody's cold virus. Is it my destiny to get sick once a year, on or around the fourth Thursday in November?

Humoring Me

I received this in the mail:

November 23, 2004

[address]

Dear Mr. Eisner,

Thank you very much for contacting us. We place a high value on input from our consumers and appreciate your time. We apologize that the Good Humor Cookies N Cream Bar did not meet your expectations.

We were sorry to learn of your experience with our coating, as we strive to provide our consumers with products of only the highest quality. What you describe leads us to believe there may have been a problem with a piece of equipment coating the novelty or could be the result of human error. We appreciate your feedback and will work closely with our manufacturing facilities to ensure more consistency in our products.

We appreciate receiving your comments and hope you will use the enclosure for the purchase of another one of our fine products, with our complents.

Yours sincerely,

Jill Dougherty
Consumer Response Manager

[Enclosure: FREE Redeem for One (1) Package of Any Good Humor, Breyers, Klondike, or Popsiccle Product (up to $6.00 value)]

How Sausage Is and Isn't Made

Yesterday the U.S. House of Representatives was ready to vote on the final House/Senate compromise version of the intelligence reform bill. This version of the bill had the support of the Republican leadership, including House Speaker Hastert, Vice President Cheney, and President Bush, with the White House making phone calls to congressmen to secure their support. This is the reform that the 9/11 Commission has been pushing for much of the past year. Furthermore, the leadership knew it could count on a yes vote from a majority of the House.

Naturally, Hastert put the bill up for a vote so that it could be sent to the President for his signature, right? Of course not. The problem was that the bill would have passed with only a minority of Republicans supporting it, but a majority of the Democrats, and that would look bad for the GOP. So much for principle.

Incidentally, the article again shows it's often worth reading the last paragraph.

Question

Would zombie ants be so bad? I'm talking about the tiny black ants, not the Carpenter Ants or Fire Ants. I think I could live with zombie ants.

Purple America Revisited

I'm sure everybody has seen one of the "Purple America" maps, in which states or counties are colored on a scale from red to purple to blue indicating the fraction of the Republican (red) and Democrat (blue) vote in each location. Here is an example, courtesy of Robert Vanderbei:

This made me, a Democrat, feel better. The map looks reassuringly bluish. But then I started wondering whether this might not be misleading, beause the 50/50 color, purple, somehow seems more blue than red to me. So I've been trying to find a map in which blue indicates Republican and red indicates Democrat. Robert Vanderbei was kind enough to produce such a map. Right now the legend is still showing red as Republican, but the map itself is correct:

As you can see, the country looks disturbingly blue.

Ill Humor

We've been trained to accept this, you know.

"The World Is Safer."

Missing Antiaircraft Missiles Alarm Aides

Duped!

Son of a bitch, I thought we ran the show. What gives?

Indeed, Jews remain emphatically Democratic, with Kerry winning an overwhelming 78 percent of Jewish votes in Tuesday's presidential election.

Peter Beinart had something to say about this in an op-ed piece last week . . . here we go: The End Of the 'Jewish Vote'.

There is no dark side of the moon, really . . .

The election is over. I've been doing some research, and it appears that George W. Bush won. He even managed to get a majority of the popular vote. As unhappy as I am about the outcome, I'm glad it was definitive. Not a blowout, mind you — the country is still divided roughly 50/50 — but a clear, unambiguous result, something I once took for granted.

It has been said elsewhere, but it is a thought I have entertained for some time: having won the election, Bush will get to sleep in the bed he has made. Whatever happens, it should be pretty clear who is to be held responsible, and, perhaps, accountable.

And not only did the Republicans hold onto the presidency, but they picked up seats in the Senate and the House. They may be deceitful and dishonorable, but Karl Rove, Tom Delay, et. al. are smart, and they know how to win. The plan is working.

Welcome to the Republican Hegemony. Hang on for the ride.

David's Rules for Stress-free Voting

Rule 1: Have a surname that falls near the beginning of the alphabet.

That's the only rule.

I went to my polling place around 1:50 PM, and the line stretched into the middle school lobby. After waiting about 15 seconds, a woman came out and shouted, "Anybody A through G? A through G?" Walking past all the suckers still in line, I felt like one of those rich bastards who buy the special passes at amusement parks so they don't have to wait with the proles.

She took me to the A - G table, where there was literally no line. After signing in, I had to wait two minutes for a machine. I spent that time pointing at everybody else, laughing, and shouting "Losers! Losers!" until the poll judge told me to stop.

Based on some feedback I've been getting, though, my precinct is an exception to the rule (pun intended).

This Is It

Tonight I did my final phone bank for the Kerry-Edwards campaign. I've been volunteering every Monday and Thursday night, and, when I hung up the handset for the last time, I was a little sad.

Now we vote. Then we wait.