The King of Pointland

OK, OK

It appears that I must say something about Ronald Reagan's passing. The unending Media coverage should have tipped me off, but now that Congress has set aside its business for the rest of the week to pay tribute to our fortieth President, it occurs to me that this man was important. Long after history has forgotten the likes of Millard Filmore, Chester Arthur, Franklin Pierce, and Abraham Lincoln, the name Ronald Reagan will continue to invoke strong feelings in the hearts and minds of Americans of all political persuasions.

And so, my fellow countrymen, allow me to take the opportunity presented by this solemn occasion to make a joke: a bad joke, and one in poor taste. To wit:

If Bill Clinton were Ronald Reagan:

A few months ago I told the American people I did not have sexual relations with that woman. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not.

*cough* I yield the floor.