March 29, 2004

Plug

Hey ladies: buy those TAMPAX Pearl tampons for your hoo-ha. I'll explain why.

It's been a year or more since I watched the MTV ("the MTV" hee hee) so I decided to see what's on (MTV2, really). And what do you know? It still sucks. Right now, at this very moment, I'm watching some whiney SoCal post-punk-pop Blink 182 clone. I think they call themselves Yellowsuck. Oh, sorry, Yellowcard. And now there's Hoobastank. Some hot chick got hit by a car. That makes it extra sad, you see, because she is hot.

But a few minutes ago, I saw the most wonderful tampon commercial, ever. Perhaps you've seen it, too. [Update: the hot chick may not be dead. This may have been planned to divert attention from a jewel heist. ] A young man and a young woman are in a row boat on a lake. The boat springs a leak. While the young man putters around, the young woman whips out a tampon, uses it to plug the hole, and saves the day. [Yep, the hot chick is definitely not dead. The heist was a big success, too. Very clever, Hoobastank. ]

This commercial goes where no tampon commercial has gone before. Taboos are broken. A hole is filled. I'm sold. So please, my lady friends, check out TAMPAX Pearl, available at your local CVS and wherever tampons are sold.

[Update: Upon re-reading, this entry seems vaguely misogynistic. I hope it's not. That wasn't my intention.]

Posted by cradle at March 29, 2004 9:16 PM
Comments

This is the single greatest blog posting I have ever had the pleasure and luck to read.

Posted by: Andrew at March 29, 2004 9:27 PM

Screw that spoiled-American-teenager music when you can experience Bhangra!

(You know you are old when those kids stop listening to good music...heh)

Posted by: Thomas at March 29, 2004 10:24 PM

David,
You are a sexist.

Posted by: kan at March 29, 2004 11:02 PM

David, I am so happy you posted this. So happy because I am currently in a rowboat that has sprung a leak. Every month, my rowboat begins leaking so much that it sinks, usually when I am entertaining a gentleman caller. And that's embarassing. Well, it used to be embarassing.

But now, this strange lunar-influenced lack of buoyancy can be stopped. I'm glad that Tampax is a company providing a reliable boat plug. Now instead of trekking to a boating specialty store I can mosie over to the drug store and find "tampons" (as you call them) in boxes of 16.
I agree, this is a great product.

Posted by: Shannon at March 30, 2004 12:20 AM

Oh God, too funny. Ahhh.

Posted by: David at March 30, 2004 12:23 AM

Tampons are not just for females! They are good for anyone with a bleeding pussy.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 30, 2004 7:01 AM

Also, please specifically DO NOT buy Kotex. THEIR commercials and marketing are an outrage. Quieter wrappers? Am I supposed to be worried that the other females in the restroom will drag me out of the stall and toss me in a pit for a week if they hear me unwrapping a tampon? I hate them.

OTOH, I think the Pearl is the one that was marketed with the following clever slogan: "Best thing for women since the push-up bra." Which is, to my mind, NO RECOMMENDATION WHATSOEVER.

I'm going to go get a sea sponge now.

Posted by: Kim at March 30, 2004 8:31 AM

Why have your period when you can just take your hormone pills nonstop? My tampon box *IS* tampax (not pearl, though, I tried them once and they aren't as effective as the regular ones) but I think it's getting covered with dust! Huzzah!

Posted by: Brooke at March 31, 2004 10:32 AM

test1

Posted by: cliff at April 1, 2004 12:58 AM

Okay so how well is this remember personal info blivet supposed to work, because I can never remember to post my name on your dang blog.

Posted by: cliff at April 1, 2004 1:00 AM

Not sure. Let's see.

Posted by: David at April 1, 2004 12:44 PM

Which tampx commercial that has a row boat are you talking about again? I can't remember which cause they were all funny. Do you have a picture or something that can jug my memory?

Posted by: dido at July 5, 2004 3:38 AM
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