October 17, 2003
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
I panicked.
A friend turned me on to a cashier who could hook me up with the new Twenty. I traded one of my old bills -- old before its time, a design obsolete after only five years -- for the colorful new kid on the engraving block.
I was excited, excited in the same way you were excited as a kid when you got a new toy you'd been coveting for weeks or months. I went to bed thinking of the new Twenty, I dreamt about it in the night, and sighed when, upon waking the next day, I remembered it was still sitting snugly in my wallet. I drove to work with a big stupid grin on my face. Life was good.
For two more hours, at least.
That's when I went to the bakery for my first coffee of the day. Purely routine, done by rote: cup pulled from stack, inserted into coffee clutch, filled with Seattle's Best Sixth Avenue Bistro. Add 1/2 & 1/2, wait in line, try not to stare, cashier, $1.53, pull out wallet, and . . .
There's Andrew J, looking right back at me, and he is alone.
I just didn't know what to do. People were waiting. The nice Hispanic lady behind the register began to wonder why, fifteen seconds later, I was still staring into my open wallet with mouth agape.
The next part I observed as if out of my body, and out of my control. I watched myself take the Twenty and hand it to the cashier. I heard her say something in Spanish to her co-worker, heard the word "nuevo". I saw the bill enter the till, the steel clip holding it down atop its commonplace brothers.
It was gone.
One day, one day soon, I hope, I'll find myself in possession of another New Twenty. It will look exactly the same. It, too, will be colorful legal tender, difficult to counterfeit, with a pattern of tiny yellow-green "20"s covering the back, barely visible, as if deposited by some miraculous sneeze.
But it will never feel the same. Never.
Posted by cradle at October 17, 2003 10:43 PMYou couldn't pay with a credit card?
Posted by: Brooke at October 18, 2003 02:19 PMI've never seen anybody pay with a credit
card (just Terp or Red Express). I don't
think you can, but who knows.
My wife and I were at a festival in VA yesterday and laid our hands, for the first time, on the new $20. Apparently, one had been produced from an ATM near where we were standing. Hopeful, I ran to the ATM and proceeded to extract a large number of $20 bills. Alas, they were crispy old-new $20 bills, and not new-new $20 bills. I suppose I will need to wait another week or two before one makes a home--even a temporary one--in my wallet. :(
After two days of wallowing in a debilitating depression, I was finally yanked out of it this morning when I received not one, not two, but THREE brand new 20s from a local ATM. I was so happy that it made me want to spare Grady Little's life for a short time.
Posted by: Dan Eisner at October 19, 2003 04:53 PMGo Yankees.
Posted by: Kan at October 20, 2003 06:37 PMKan: Jerk
World: I hit the mother lode. 5 crisp new^2 Twenties from the Wawa ATM. Ah-Hot ahh-dam.
I haven't seen a new 20 yet.
However, I did watch the Yankees win vs the Bosox
Posted by: kan at October 20, 2003 11:48 PMGoddamn, that's classic, David. My life is every bit as pathetic as that, yet I can't seem to come up with anywhere near that level of comedy. At least, it seemed comical to me; I thought you meant for it to be funny. Now that I think of it, please don't be upset if I'm wrong and your entry was written in total seriousness. People misunderstand each other from time to time, and there's not a single thing wrong with finding joy in a new form of currency, or tragedy in having to give it up.
If this was a serious entry, please disregard the next sentence.
Funny as hell.
Posted by: Bob S at October 22, 2003 01:19 AM